The Letter
by WriterGirl5689
Summary: "A best friend supports their friend no matter how much seeing them with another person breaks their heart and makes them twisted with jealously, because they know that they are so in love with their best friend, she is the only woman he can now imagine himself with." When Jack stumbles upon a letter, he's drawn into a love affair that is meant to be, with help of course.
1. Chapter 1

_**This was meant to only be a short one-shot. But 2000 words later I want to finish it. I'd been toying with this idea for a while, originally it was just going to be the letter, but then it needed context, and I couldn't see Jack just leaving it. In short, I didn't foresee this being so long, I hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it.**_

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _ **As much as I wish I did, I don't own Silent Witness nor it's characters and all rights go to the BBC and it's respective owners.**_

* * *

Jack had finally got round to cleaning out his desk, Nikki had been going on about the piles of paperwork that made it impossible to find anything for weeks. Because of this insistant questioning as to when he was going to clear it up, Jack planned a full scale clear out, draws and all one late night at the Lyell when lab results were slow and the report writing even slower.

"Jack do you want a drink?" Nikki enquired en route to the kitchen from the cutting room, he had hoped she had gone home so she didn't have to see the sheer mass of mess that he had created. Amongst the mounds of pens, scraps of paper, and a few than edible snacks Jack replied that he wanted a coffee. As Nikki's heels echoed away from the office he found an envelope at the back of a draw, slightly crumpled and bent from being shoved to the back. It had clearly been there for sometime. Intrigued by this envelope and its contents he placed it on the floor, a place where chaos had not yet descended, mentally reminding himself to read it later.

A while later, the Lyell had gone quiet, Jack's coffee cold, and the chaos that was the contents of his desk put away in a more organised fashion than before, Nikki had returned to the cutting room to finish a report not wanting to be there for the reorganising. Staring into space as to what to do next, the slightly brown corner of the envelope caught the corner of Jack's eye. Leaning down to pick it up he noticed the handwriting and address on the front "The Next Occupier" was written in a lavish, slightly disorganised style. Interested about it's contents he opened and started to read.

 _To the next occupier of this desk,_

 _My name is Harry Cunningham and this desk was mine, and the Lyell my home for a long time. I'm guessing that your wondering why I'm writing this letter, it's about Nikki. Dr Nikki Alexander, the blonde that still has something of mine. Unless it's you reading this Nikki, then this is about to get awkward. In order to fully fulfil your new role here at the Lyell Centre, you need to understand a few things about Nikki. Nikki is this brilliant, extremely intelligent scientist who get's too emotionally involved, and does need saving quite a lot, she's an opinionated, aggravating, annoying, argumentative, desk stealing blonde firecracker. Who makes me want to flip my desk over in anger because she can't see how amazing she is. Nikki is an emotional, daddy issued, fragile woman who has an inability to see how loved, brilliant and respected she is. Nikki gives herself to everything with 110%, she doesn't do less than 110% to Nikki any less doesn't exist._

 _You've met Nikki, you've worked with her, otherwise you wouldn't be opening this letter. Have you noticed her laugh? The way that once something gets her laughing she'll keep laughing afterwards every now and then because the thought of it still makes her chuckle. Have you noticed her smile? Her beautiful smile that lights up a room and makes anyone in it feel warm and at home. Have you noticed how she is so selfless? She'll do anything for anyone, she gave up half her home for me. Have you noticed her determination? Me and Leo always used to say she was a bloodhound with a scent, once she has an idea, or lead she will always see it through. Although this this often leads to her spending sleepless nights at the lab, so always pickup coffee, a latte with two sugars does the trick, and make sure she doesn't stay all night. If she gets emotionally involved, don't stop her, she won't like it and immediately resent you for even thinking that she would be able to change such a big part of her personality, just support her and tell her you're their if she needs anything. If she is the same with you as she was me, prepare yourself for middle of the night phone calls and tears. Most importantly, make sure she is happy and laughs, I'm always scared that I was the only one to properly make her laugh, the laugh that stays with you long after she's stopped._

 _Nikki was and still is my best friend. As part of this I have seen her through many moments of emotional distress. A best friend supports their friend no matter how much seeing them with another person breaks their heart and makes them twisted with jealously, because they know that they are so in love with their best friend that she is the only woman he can now imagine himself with. I have seen Nikki pick many the wrong man, so make sure she doesn't pick anymore bad types. She deserves much better. Why didn't I tell her? Because I love her. I didn't tell Nikki that I loved her because I love her. I never found the courage or confidence to tell her and suddenly it was too late and I couldn't face breaking her heart by leaving, it would seem desperate, an afterthought. Whenever you read this, chances are she's moved on, she's found someone amazing, perhaps even you, maybe you found the courage I never did. If so, look after her, treat her well, and tell her that she's loved everyday, because I will never stop loving her._

 _Treat the desk well, I hope you find a home here at the Lyell. I certainly did._

 _The previous owner,_

 _Harry Cunningham_

 _P.S: Depending on when you read this, there might still be a microwave meal in the bottom drawer, I'm hoping that Nikki hasn't stolen it!_

Jack set the letter down on the table shocked at what he had just read; it was at this moment that Nikki decided to return his shocked look immediately dropped from his complexion.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: No one has given me the rights to Silent Witness yet, so I still don't own it. I'll let you know if anything changes!_**

* * *

 _Last time: J_ _ack set the letter down on the table shocked at what he had just read; it was at this moment that Nikki decided to return his shocked look immediately dropped from his complexion..._

"Jack I'm going home now; do you need anything before I do?" Nikki walked over to her desk, picking up her stuff and retrieving her coat as she did. Jack couldn't really look at her, not in the way he did before the letter, she was so loved by this man and she had no idea. He wanted to tell her, no, it wasn't his place. He re-established himself before he replied.

"No I'm good thanks," He internally debated asking the next question, deciding to wrap it in a slight lie "Oh there was a phone call whilst you were in the cutting room, someone was asking for a Harry Cunningham. I told him that there was no one of that name here, do you know him?" A wave of emotion flashed across Nikki's eyes, she took a deep breath and acted causal.

"He used to work here, he's gone now, to America. Did you get their name? I'll let them know about his departure." She was whiter than she was before he'd mentioned it, he immediately regretted asking seeing how much pain it caused her, but he had to know who this man was. "I didn't, I guess if they need him that badly they will call back." Jack replied, trying to act reasonably normal.

"Only if he knew how much some of us do need him." Nikki muttered under her breath, before turning around to leave. "Night Jack." She called out halfway down the corridor, desperate to escape this place of memories of Harry Cunningham. "Night" He called in reply, too desperate to get back to re-reading the letter. He had to find this guy, Nikki had to know how he felt, she couldn't lose someone else.

The sun rose and Jack found himself watching it from the office window, he had gone home but found himself unable to sleep. A run didn't help, nor did a drink. All he could think about is how much this Harry loved his co-worker and how much she needed to know. He'd never seen Nikki with anyone, only the photo that she kept on her desk of her and a dark hired man laughing the sun. Nor had she mentioned any dates or a boyfriend, now it all made sense to Jack, and last nights' moment of emotion confirmed it, she wasn't over him. Deciding that The Lyell had the best facilities he would need to find this Harry, he had arrived at around 5:30 this morning and had been sitting watching the sun rise, pondering his options ever since. In fear of Nikki arriving at any moment he set off Googling this man, and searching the centres systems for any trace of a Harry Cunningham.

When Clarissa arrived he told her everything, about the letter, about Nikki's reaction, but most importantly of how much he wanted to find this man. It was actually more simple than Jack had thought, a few university links and papers published, he found himself faced with a staff profile of an American University. He immediately recognised the man from the photo on Nikki's desk. Professor Harry Cunningham, he's moved up since writing the letter, was now a leading academic at his university and was contactable via email and a phone number. Jack had found the jackpot. But now he faced the wait of when the two time zones aligned at social hours, the Lyell would pay for the phone call, after all reuniting one of their leading scientists with someone who loved them was essential to the cause. Clarissa had kept open a clock for New York on her computer all day, fearing that Nikki might notice it on Jack's. Nikki had been preoccupying herself all day, catching up on reports, performing routine post mortems, and replying to email; anything that wouldn't make her stop and think about the brown haired man that sat in a frame on her desk. Deciding that there was nothing left for her to do, Nikki decided to call it a day, alerted of Jack's reluctance to go for traditional Friday night drinks, she suspected a girl was waiting for him, not the phone call he claimed. So her and Clarissa disappeared down to their favourite wine bar, leaving Jack alone in the lab.

Thankful for the peace and the removal of Nikki, Jack picked up the phone to make perhaps the scariest phone call of his life, there was a long wait before someone picked up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for the feedback and support! I finally know where I'm taking this story and can't wait to share it with you all. Enjoy and keep the comments coming!**  
 _ **Disclaimer: Three chapters in, and I still don't own Silent Witness. I'm thinking the documents got lost in the post.**_

* * *

 _Last time: Thankful for the peace and the removal of Nikki, Jack picked up the phone to make perhaps the scariest phone call of his life, there was a long wait before someone picked up._

A woman with a strong Boston accent, she certainly wasn't Harry, for a moment Jack thought his hopes were smashed. "Hello, NYU pathology department, Lisa speaking, how may I help you?" God American customer service was impressive, they had some for starters, watching his had shake as he spoke, Jack replied

"Hi, I'm looking for doctor Cunningham…" He corrected himself "…Sorry Professor Cunningham, Harry?" The young woman chuckled.

"Don't worry, Professor Cunningham doesn't mind, he actually prefers Doctor. Wait on the line, I'll put you through." Jack thanked her and was faced with increasing annoying hold music, just as he was getting used to the annoying tone a man answered.

"This is Doctor Cunningham, what can I do for you?" His voiced matched his face Jack thought, it was soft but assertive at the same time.

"I'm Jack Hodgson, I work at the Lyell Centre." He didn't know what to say.

Harry's reply was quick and distressed. "Is it Nikki, is she okay?" He was clearly concerned about his past co-worker.

"Nikki's fine, I found your letter." There was a silence from Harry.

He knew that someone would find it, he just didn't know what to do when they did. This Jack was clearly his replacement on the team, but what about in Nikki's life? Was he a replacement there? He never expected this phone call, he just thought someone would read it and carry on with their role in the team, he never thought someone would act upon the feelings he had expressed in the letter. He'd forgotten about it, he lost himself in his new role as a teacher, with hardly any cases due to the system here, Harry found himself longing for the days of cracking murder cases with Nikki and Leo. Although he could never do anything with the latter. He had heard from Nikki via email about Leo's death, but he wasn't allowed any leave of absence due to his unofficial family relation to Leo, after that the emails from Nikki slowed down and eventually stopped. Harry wanted to contact her, but a week turned into a month, a month into six and eventually it had been two years and he hadn't heard a word from his best friend. But not a day went by where he didn't think about her.

Eventually he broke the silence, forgetting that this man would have read all of his feelings for Nikki, he tried to appear humorous.

"Treating the desk well then?" Jack noticed the change of conversation and happily played along.

"Yeah the desk is nice, Nikki did have the microwave meal which I was a tad upset about." He was greeted with a laugh.

"Yeah that sounds like Nikki, I'm surprised that she didn't steal my desk she used to spend more time at mine than hers. But I guess things change. How is Nikki?" Jack knew what Harry wanted to know, he'd used the technique about his exes in the past, you ask how they are because you want to know if they've moved on from you and found someone new.

"Honestly she's a mess, she's putting on a brave face, Leo's death hit her hard she refused to take over the department and with you gone I think she wondered if she belonged anymore. She needs you mate, more than ever. There is only so much a brotherly figure like me can do." Harry had never thought that Nikki would consider leaving the Lyell, it was more of her home than any of theirs, he realised early on in his contract that there was no place like the Lyell, it's atmosphere couldn't be recreated anywhere else, no matter how hard Harry tried, he could never make New York home. With this, it made the thought of Nikki leaving their home that little bit harder to swallow, he always thought she might wait for him to come back, not leave when it got tough. That wasn't Nikki. He took an educated guess that that was why she was still there, but for her to even think about leaving told him how much she needed him. How much he had broken her and left her to pick up the pieces of her life, he thought he was doing the right thing by not going to Leo's funeral, he didn't think they could survive another goodbye. He had a strong feeling they hadn't survived the last one.

This didn't deter the reply he offered Jack "I'm on my way." No hesitation was present, he'd created this mess and it was his responsibility to fix it, even if Nikki didn't want to see him. Jack had only ever imagined this sort of thing happening in the movies, he was about to reply when Harry explained himself. "My contract here ends in a couple of weeks and I have no where else lined up, I'm sure I can use my holiday and come back earlier. Thanks Jack, I would never have known." Harry's thanks were solemn and full of emotion; it was clear to Jack how guilty Harry felt about leaving.

"Anytime Harry, I'll see you soon I guess." Still in shock that Harry was actually coming back, Jack was only able to say a few words. The pair exchanged goodbyes and Jack found himself alone in the Lyell once more, aware of the changes that were going to happen in due course.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: Still don't own Silent Witness**_

* * *

 _Last time: The pair exchanged goodbyes and Jack found himself alone in the Lyell once more, aware of the changes that were going to happen in due course._

Harry walked through the doors to the Lyell a few days later and immediately felt as if he was coming home, of course things had changed with time but he knew this was where he belonged and cursed at himself for ever leaving. He walked over the cheery receptionist, she was new, "HI I'm Professor Cunningham to see a Dr Jack Hodgson?" He was welcomed with a big smile and cheery tone.

"Certainly Professor, does he know your coming?" Harry found her British accent strong against his own, he was used to his, but he hadn't yet acclimatised to other people speaking in the same way as him.

"He should, I contacted him this morning letting know I had arrived in the country." Harry was now aware of how close he was to Nikki, only a matter of floors and steps separate them, but Jack had told him that she was in court this afternoon, hence his lateness of arrival. He wanted to see her, but he wanted to do it right and turning up uninvited in the middle of the working day didn't scream correct to him.

"Great, well I've let one of the assistants know you're going up. Have a nice day." The chirpy receptionist gave Harry a short account of the directions before he departed. Not that he needed them, this place had been his home for years prior.

* * *

No sooner Harry found himself at the familiar doors of the department, he punched in the last code he knew. To his surprise it was the same and granted him access, he smiled and pushed the door open, taking in his surrounding he took a deep breath and made his way to the place where he knew he desks would most likely be, he found Jack at his.

"Harry, it's finally nice to put a face to a voice. This is Clarissa, forensics, like me, and general gossip around this place." Jack warmly greeted Harry and indicated Clarissa who was eagerly awaiting his arrival. Harry shook Jack's hand, exchanging pleasantries, and gave Clarissa a small kiss on the cheek, placing his stuff down by his, Jack's, desk. "Is there anywhere I could freshen up? I really don't want to meet your head of department looking like this." Harry inquired looking at his slight dishevelled appearance.

"The locker rooms, I still think your one is free, feel free to use it. I think you might be sticking around for a while." Jack joked, knowing that Thomas was looking for another pathologist to join the department, he was taking on more administrative duties and couldn't leave all of the work to Nikki, not that Jack had already recommended Harry for the position. Harry laughed at the comment about his locker and made his way down the corridor leaving a couple of bags by the desks. Jack was right, Nikki was no where to be seen.

* * *

Harry hadn't been gone five minutes and Clarissa was already making gossip "You never said he was nice to look at." Jack immediately looked offended.

"I thought I was nice to look at. I didn't think he would have been your type, anyway he's taken."

"Who's nice to look at?" Nikki had returned from court early and had caught the pairs conversation. Jack was speechless at the prospect of Nikki and Harry meeting again, he really should have told her that he was coming over. Noting his distress Clarissa led the conversation.

"The pathology professor Thomas is interviewing this afternoon. Very much eye candy, bit old for Jack though." Nikki laughed as she sat down at her desk, reviewing the paperwork that had been despotised on it during her morning away. "That is a shame, why is Thomas interviewing pathologists?'

Jack finally found his voice, already thinking of a way to explain himself if Harry was to walk in. "He wants to take some of the workload off you, did he not mention it? Shit!" In his nervous gesturing whilst talking Jack managed to spill his coffee over the paperwork that was spread across his desk. Clarissa went to get some tissue whilst Jack fretted about the state of reports and how much Thomas was going to kill him if they were damaged. Amongst the chaos, Nikki managed to slip away to the locker room in much need of some alone time, the court session had been gruelling and long she was tired and wish the day was over, in reality it was far from it. She still had another two post mortems to do this afternoon and had sent ahead for the first to be prep. The last thing that she wanted to see was a man in their locker room that she didn't recognise.

* * *

Harry had just finished getting changed and was putting some things away in his locker when he heard someone come into the room, placing the last items in he shut the door, ready to face the newcomer. He was confronted with someone who was far from new to him.

Nikki couldn't believe it, after two years of no contact he had the audacity to turn up here and use their locker room as if he belonged. He was as equally as shocked; did he think she had left? Only he did that. He was the first to talk with a slight grin and twinkle of hope in his eye that they could pretend that the last few years hadn't happened. "Hello stranger."

He got a welcome he did not expect. An angry Nikki and an accusing tone "What are you doing here?" It was at this moment that Jack had realised Nikki's absence and understood the scene that was happening in the locker room.


	5. Chapter 5

**I know it's short, I know, I know, I know! I had a massive argument with myself (well not as the one you are going to see in a second) about where I should stop the chapter, and decided that this was a good place otherwise it would have been a massive chapter. So enjoy the angst, angry filled Harry and Nikki. I Must admit, writing a angry, hell bent, crazy in love with conflicted emotions Nikki was a lot of fun and I'll miss her once this ends.  
As usual, let me know what you think, do you like this new take on a reunion? Angrier than most I've seen I must admit! **

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Silent Witness!**

* * *

 _Last time: He got a welcome he did not expect. An angry Nikki and an accusing tone "What are you doing here?" It was at this moment that Jack had realised Nikki's absence and understood the scene that was happening in the locker room._

"I guess a hug is out of the question?" Harry quipped, Nikki's face was a picture of mixed emotions, well anger mostly, but Harry remained optimistic that a smile was there somewhere.

Nikki couldn't understand, nor did she want to a certain extent, the man who have left her broken, depressed, and generally lost was now standing in front of her pretending that nothing had happened. She knew that her finally starting to get over it was too good to be true, of course nothing went her way, especially Harry Cunningham. Nikki wasn't one for cursing but she was lost for pleasant word, anger practically seeped from her pores.

"What the fuck Harry? How can you just stand there and pretend that the past few years haven't happened? More importantly, why the fuck are you standing there?"

"Must be my memory going, because I remember that the Nikki Alexander I knew would be happy to see her best friend." Harry decided that if she was going to be mean and play dirty then so could he. After all a little appreciation for him leaving his life in America to come back for her wouldn't go a miss.

"Yeah well she wasn't left without a decent explanation or at least some kind of acknowledgement of the years we spent not being together but being together all at once. She had to carry on, we don't all get professorships and a rescue from heartbreak and mourning Harry. Not all of us are that lucky."

"That's what you think, you think that I got the easier life, that I got the greener grass whilst you were stuck here mourning and living in self-pity. It's not just about you Nikki, I hurt as well, we both lost Leo, and I know I wasn't here but that doesn't change that I lost a father figure as well…"

Nikki's anger and mix of emotions erupted and she exploded with feeling and gave the speech that she had planned ever since the idea of him coming back became an escape, not a reality that was unfolding in front of her.

"You weren't here. You were my best friend Harry, and you broke my heart. No amount of apologies can make up for you leaving. I'm sorry I wasn't there when Leo died. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you got arrested for murder. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you nearly died at the hands of a killer. I'm sorry I wasn't there. You weren't there Harry, I needed you and you didn't come…you weren't there and I needed you."

Her voiced changed to a nearly inaudible whisper "I need you."

Harry spoke his prepared defence. "I was scared Nikki, I was scared of what crossing that line would do to us, I was petrified that I would lose my best friend over a feeling that I had repressed for so long it no longer bothered me, it was just there. I was scared of losing you."

"You did the the minute you got on that plane Harry. You put the space between us. You left me behind." Nikki refused to back down, to show him that it was okay that he was back, she refused to show him any sign that she was happy to see him. He had done this, he had made her this angry, crying mess, so he sure was going to see it.

"I know, it's something I will regret for the rest of my life because I love you, there happy? I love you." Harry had played out this situation many times on the plane, but none of them ended like this, not with Nikki kicking the lockers with rage with tears streaming down her face. He hated himself for what he had done, he was responsible for this, for her being in such a state. Now they both had silent tears as well as silent voices.

The silence was short lived as a series of alarms went off and the locker room sealed.

"Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse." Nikki muttered as she slid down a locker to sit on the floor.


End file.
